On To The Majors.
2023 was a productive year all around. I developed and sold a plan for the first half of the year and in the second half I entered into a full-time management role to implement that plan. It was overwhelming in more ways than one. Running was at the root of my days and my weeks and always helped put me back on course when I was feeling overwhelmed. I also began to journal and pay more attention to self-growth practices from others with experience. I began to simplify, to learn to say no, and to focus the scope on impact activities.
I committed to routine, changing my state, changing my habits. I was reading the biography of John Davis Rockefeller, ‘Titan’. His practice of delayed gratification, compounding efforts, and achievements in philanthropy that still exist to this day had me in awe. I was entering the NYC marathon journey in a true New York state of mind.
I was back at the Memorial Day 5k run that year and I moved up a slot to the second place time for my age group (then 33). It was an awakening that had staying power, and that was that small improvements lead to bigger accomplishments. A famous quote by Zeno says; ‘Well-being is realized by small steps, but is truly no small thing.’ It left me with a quench for more and what was better this time was that I knew where my limitations were and I sought out to find the people that would help me grow outside of those limitations. This year was a journey to self-improvement that I never let up on and it will have an ever-lasting impact on my life. It starts with vulnerability and an openness to failure. It’s about knowing that every day we start at 0. Jeff Bezos summed it up powerfully in a shareholder’s note writing, ‘Staying in Day 1 requires you to experiment patiently, accept failures, plant seeds, protect saplings, and double down when you see customer delight’. And John D. Rockefeller is quoted in his book saying “I enjoy the best of health. What a compensation for the loss of theaters, the clubs, the dinners, the dissipations. I was satisfied with cold water and skimmed milk, and enjoyed my sleep.” He went on to live to 97, as America’s first billionaire. Compounding small efforts can perform magic when we trust the process.
I fully embraced running during that summer without having the pressure of running the 9+1 runs for NYRR. The scenic run of the summer was alongside Niagara Falls for a 10K run on our memorable family trip to the falls. Back home I selected a few of the longer NYRR races in Central Park. I ran in the Grete’s Gallop 10k around the park in late August and decided to stay to get another loop in for more hill training. It was there where a runner next to me reached out and said; How was the run? I was wearing my Grete’s Gallop t-shirt, one of the best parts of being an NYRR is the free gear! The man running next to me putting the extra work in was a seventy-three-year-old man, running nearly at the same pace as I was. We stayed next to each other on the humid summer day and chatted for a bit. He was a retired insurance professional living on the West Side and only started running in his 50s. His goal is to run a half marathon at age 80. I am friends with him on Strava now watching him live out his dream! He, along with Drew from the Philadelphia marathon are an inspiration to me to this day.
Moving into September, my sister and I began to take weekend trips to Central Park to continue the hill training and familiarize ourselves with the NYC marathon course. We would leave Staten Island around 5:30 AM, and get to 72nd St. and Madison Ave. to find plenty of parking by 6 AM before the meters were on. My trademark spot was in front of the Ralph Lauren cafe and even finished my run in time for a free cold brew coffee for one of our trips. We entered the park at 72nd and would run laps around the park. It started quiet with only the other marathoners out running at that time. By the second lap, it was a full park. We saw our regulars, including a few elites who seemed like they were sprinting their laps. The one that stuck with me was a young man running at a comfortable pace with his son, maybe of 6 or 7, riding his bike at a steady pace right next to him. The image stuck and I purchased the same bike brand, Woom for my two sons and have it on my goals to do over the next year in the same fashion!
I was looking forward to the 18M TCS NYC Marathon Training Series in late September and for two consecutive years, they were canceled! I still believe that had an impact on my run in the NYC Marathon. Going back, if there is one thing I would change about the training I did, it would be to fit at least one more long run of 18 or more miles. We did a total of 4. Central Park was our training center and getting one additional long run there might have made the end of my marathon a bit easier on me. I had my slowest pace at the end and I cramped up at mile 24 in the park.
The highlight of marathon week was the Children’s Stage 1 run, which my two boys ran in the week before to kick off NYC marathon week. The boys were ecstatic and it was a great day with the family. My son, Luca even made the nightly news running in the background! He was sporting his bright yellow Team Achilles kids shirt and his NY Rising Stars NYRR white cap. My wife made sure the boys were dressed for the occasion as always!
The expo was another experience that I’d recommend to participants. I went in the afternoon on the Friday before and fought through the exhaustion that all of the excitement was causing me. The crowds were enormous and I was full of anxiety until finally I got to sit down and listen in on a presentation of the course by the NYRR coaching team. That was a fantastic summary of what we can anticipate on the course, what we should be aiming for, and what support we would have along the way. Living in Staten Island, I drove into Manhattan the night before to park my car so that our master plan of meeting together as a family in Manhattan would have a way home after the run. I drove to Central Park to drop off a bag of clothes and accessories for me to grab at the end of the race and since I was there I went over to St. Paul The Apostle Church for mass and a blessing of the runners. This is where I learned the term ‘The hay is in the barn’, meaning that we runners have done our training and prepared all we could for the run. And it was fitting that day that the reading was about St. Paul and his words about life being a marathon of keeping our faith through times of uncertainty. Now it was simply time to rest, wake up, show up, and bring what we have in us. Sound advice that I truly needed to hear!
Having the experience of traveling to runs in the past, it’s a big advantage living in Staten Island the morning of the race! Breakfast was light and it was another Sunday morning at home with my wife and kids, plus all the excitement, the packing, the signs, and me and my gel packs! I kept remembering ‘The hay is in the barn’. My wife drove me down Father Cappadanno to the FDNY pre-race tent that my sister’s husband helped set us up with and I am extremely grateful for it. It was an excellent spot for a quick photo shoot with the family and to start the morning off right.
In my corral start were two young gentlemen who came in from South Africa for the run. This was truly a NY experience and it was everything that it lived up to be without even crossing the start line yet! Immediately the run starts in surreal fashion, the Verrazano bridge and all the tolls that I’ve paid over the years, now having the whole upper level to stroll on by foot. I had to take it in and walk over at first. After that, the environment only got better. I ran into my cousin in Bay Ridge and throughout all of Brooklyn, there wasn’t a step without people cheering us on! It got to the point where I got crowd anxiety in Williamsburg where the street narrows and people are screaming right at your level where you’re doing your best to focus on your energy consumption! It was a good half marathon pace and the 59th St. bridge came where my buddy with the bright orange Reeses's pieces hat was with me again. The hat made me think of my children, especially Nicolas who shares my indulgence for the chocolate peanut butter snack. Anything that we can use to keep ourselves focused on the marathon course works wonders!
I slowed down a bit on that bridge and started to think more about my energy consumption plan for Manhattan. I was feeling great and when I made it over I expected earth-shattering cheers from the Manhattan crowds as we turned onto 1st Ave. Crickets! That was a little disappointing or maybe my pace group just wasn’t that entertaining to look at since none of us came stumbling off the bridge that everyone was warning us about. The stretch down 1st Ave. was a good one and I even caught a good Seinfeld sign ‘This Marathon Is Making Me Thirsty!’. It became easier mentally for me knowing that my family was meeting me at 96th Street and 1st Ave. That blocked the physical pain that my body was starting to go through and I realized that right around mile 18-19. I got a good boost when I saw them. We got a few pictures and sweaty hugs and kisses. It’s a moment you’ll always remember! A boost that was much needed as an unexpected incline was waiting for me right after that, crossing into the Bronx. It was the first point where I saw other runners really struggling. It was a humid day and bodies were starting to give. At that point, we were approaching the mile 20 wall that I had engraved in my head from streaming the prior year's run and keeping mile 20 on the screen, in hopes of witnessing the ‘wall’. It all came to life and the signage was great! ‘Knock Down The Wall!’, one read. After that, I had another mental boost carrying me through to mile 22 where I met my family again on 5th Ave. and 96th St. My wife and mother traveling from across avenues with the kids is just as amazing as running the marathon! The boys were in the stroller eating a snack, so I decided to enjoy a gel with them and have a bathroom break. Then I was on my own to the finish line. I pushed with adrenaline and grit down 5th Ave. The last four miles were tough! I had my head down the whole way down 5th and although it felt like I was sprinting, I was only speed walking. It was the worst pace of my run and I got into Central Park on a limb. A limb was about to cramp up and it did on mile 24 where I had to come to a complete halt. My upper quad muscle in my left leg pulled and cramped every time my foot hit the ground. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through another mile plus. As in life, what do you do when there’s a problem right in front of you and there’s no way around it other than finding the best solution available to you at that very moment? I had to stop so I did, I stretched and I walked in the narrow path going down the park. I continued to stretch and walk. The purpose then was to make sure I finished and I had a preference for finishing in full stride rather than crippling over. Knowing where I was in the park and where I was heading was a tremendous help. I was extremely grateful for the training runs that I did there since it made me feel like I’d been there before and knew exactly where I was headed. Before too long, I was back up and running with fortitude. The stop likely shaved a few minutes off of my finish time. It was delightful to see the row of flags entering the Colombus Circle entrance to the park and the one ‘final incline’ right before the finish line. The running coach from the expo presentation put it best, ‘This is New York, they don’t make anything easy’.
The finish line was incredible. Full of energy! It was chaotic, triumphant, welcoming, emotional, friendly and tiring! The volunteer staff did an amazing job communicating and got us the aid that was much needed. I got my quad muscle treated for a little relief knowing that I still had to make my way uptown to meet my family. Full warning, there is a solid 1 mile walk before getting through the gates at the finish. It can be a treacherous walk after a marathon like that!
Meeting with my wife and kids at the extremely hospitable FDNY Engine 58 was a gratifying experience. We got great photos and food, the firehouse dog became Nicolas’ best friend, and Luca and I were up on the fire engine cheering on the remaining marathoners who were running by.
When I tell you that marathon day is full of unpredictability, I thank God dearly that the unpredictability of this day came with many blessings for our family to enjoy together. Many do not have that fortune and a big takeaway for me from that day is that my wife is the one who makes all of that possible. Because of her, I’m able to run and do these adventures that I sign up for and as always she’s right there with me! She is all of the fun that our family needs and she lightens all of our days.
Of course, the marathon story is not over yet! We split from my sister’s husband and my nephew as they made their way to the finish line to meet my sister who had, in my eyes, a heroic marathon run and a personal record for herself! She was inspiring in her training and she was rewarded on marathon day for her great efforts. Sitting here, it’s still a very unusual feeling to think that my sister Cathy is a marathon runner! The lesson here is that we can all do hard things when we put our minds to it, get up, and go!
My wife and I, and kids strolled along to venture off back to the car that I parked the night before on Amsterdam Ave. on the West Side. Wearing my bright orange marathon jacket, it was easy to spot me as a marathon finisher as we took 5th Ave. down alongside the course. It turned out that we had one more marathoner for the day to cheer on. Our son, Luca decided to partake in the course and got about 100 feet in on 5th Ave. alongside the marathoners. It was a good boost for the runners who were out with the darkness setting in on the first day of the clocks moving backward. This was mental toughness at its best! As I was pushing the stroller with Nicolas lying in it, a lady in the marathon who was walking in determination down 5th to the grand finish line, looked at me, and said ‘That looks a lot harder than this’. We continued on and went the wrong way in the park as it started to get darker, the kids were tired and hungry, and we wound up on the downhill part of the Harlem hill, bringing me right back to my training runs. We finally approached the street where the car was parked, now clocking in 30-plus miles for the day! As you can tell from Rome and New York, my logistical skills need a lot of improvement. We walked up and down, across three avenues, 2-3 times. I got to the point where I called my sister to make sure she was still in Manhattan, because our car may have gone missing. Twenty minutes later on the same street, we found our car in relief and likely walked right past it a few times. Running marathons will humble you!
Finally, at home, at last, we put the kids to bed, my wife and I enjoyed a small meal together and went to bed peacefully. We were able to go to Marathon Monday and that was worth the trip! The whole experience is hard to truly explain and I now understand why they call NYC the world’s greatest marathon!
Lessons Learned:
-Caring for your children is harder than running a marathon as my fellow marathoner gave testimony to on that day! My wife is the real winner. It is all worth it. Anything hard is worth it!
-My sister put in the hours, and the miles, with no guarantees on marathon day. It was all worth it! There are others on the journey with you, 50,000 others, and more beyond. We are all going through it. We Catholics believe that we all carry a cross. Being a part of a community, even for just one day can cause ripple effects beyond what we can imagine.
-The philosopher Epictetus spoke true, powerful words “It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.” Had I found a way to run the NYC marathon back in 2022, I would not have learned what is necessary to truly enjoy the experience and would have wasted hours and days at the expense of my family. Learning is a journey we will go through our entire lives!
